By Sajjad Khan Bangash
A friend of mine Sarah Rachel from USA requested me to write and lament on the video which is very heartbreaking and sickening in which a 10 years old girl is encouraged by her mother and few other elders to beat a 05 years old girl. After watching video, I couldn’t resist to lament and condemn this vicious and brutal act of the elders to encourage her daughter to beat a girl who’s innocent, helpless and 05 years younger to her. This was something which totally broken me within inside.
It’s very reprehensible and deplorable act by the parents to educate their children and entice them towards heinous crimes such as this to beat a small child.
I cannot understand the people in our communities that why they educate and inspire their children to harass and beat other children who are smaller than them in age, physical ability and emotional strength and I do actually believe that the teachings and guidance of parents to their children are followed and implemented by the children during their entire life spans.
Parents are actively involved in children’s physical, psychological and emotional upbringing and they play the roles as teachers, mentors, caregivers, role models for their children and whatever they instill in the tiny minds of the children, those early learning are systematically replicated by children in every stage of life. Whether you teach your children to be kind, polite, caring and loving to others in their daily lives, or you simply encourage them on violence, barbarism and brutality, the children eventually follow those scripts and teachings of their parents and chances are always high that a child’s early upbringing is prop-up and become parts of a child’s personality traits, norms and attitude.
There are certain aspects which align the ‘child’s maturity and mental edifice either ways’. This phase of life is such a turn in which we knowingly or unknowingly tend to lay out the pathways for our children’s future lifeline.
Here, we have two paths ahead of us and i.e, ‘Right or Wrong‘ while the selection of those paths are very sensitive and long lasting.
Now, what are these aspects and how they influence the decisions making process of a teenager?
Let’s scan them.
The first and foremost aspect is “the domestic and internal environment of our home, our parents care, education and monitoring supervisory role.”
Categorically, we often see that when the parents exert too much strictness – stab the freedom of children, and do not demonstrate love, care and support, drastically influence physical and psychological contours of child’s mental capabilities, aptitude, performance and behavior. While on the other hand; we also see that whenever a child is benefited with too much luxury of freedom – lavish lifestyle, extra pampering and careless monitoring of the parents; often replicate several adverse effects on children’s attitude, behavior, aptitude thus stick with teenager’s entire life and become the modes of his persona such as ‘they become more dependent, less productive in producing results thus some of their generic talents and capabilities are murdered if not aligned correctly.’
Moving ahead in teenage phase – a child of first category, once gets out of that caged environment; often finds himself/herself into a disarray of polluted abysmal as this new freedom entices his/her lust to every opportunity coming forth. So they are warmly welcomed by this crazy world of either drugs, alcohol, clubs and nightlife and they get themselves entrapped by friends who are very wrong types of people. Why, because first they had no freedom then too much all at once. They’re gradually inclined towards the deterioration of their self esteem and personality development which further moves ahead transforming themselves into ‘highly unwanted people’ in society hence the decency, self respect in them seem to fade away. They turned out to be either smugglers, drug dealers and in some volatile societies become ‘terrorists or suicide bombers’ who later become the source for the ‘ destruction of peace of the world ‘
These teenagers are easy trap for these malicious perpetrators working hidden behind the guise. Since, teenagers are highly aggressive, passionate and immature so they take it as darling opportunity to lure these youngsters, brainwash them and make them ready to utilize them for their assigned jobs.
Usually, these children come from poor or marginalized section of society where parents are unable to bring up their children financially well and send them to schools and educate them. These teenagers are lured a lot by the financial and psychological incentives offered by that ‘environment of filth’.
But, we still have options to stop our future generations getting astray and become more productive, effective and decent human beings for our societies, countries and the world provided that the the governments, parents and the general society of every country must take some preemptive and corrective measures for the economic uplift, welfare and education of ordinary and poor citizens of their countries so that the poor people may concentrate more actively with worry-free minds on the upbringing, education and personality development of their children. While, the parents must always prioritize the personality and educational needs of their children.
Especially, the mother is ‘the heaven of love’ and in a child’s early life span, mother’s role carries an utmost importance. She’s the first teacher of her children and counselor. A well-educated mother will always look after her children in a very effective and decent way, educate and train her children effectively.
Those parents who give extra leverage and liberty to their children must follow a balanced approach in freedom and luxury of life to their children i.e, substantiate their children’s needs but do not cross the limits and keeping a hawk’s eye supervision on the activities of the children both inside and outside their homes if not possible, try to figure out the whereabouts where they meet and greet friends and get together.
Fighting between a mother and father or other family members always puts negative imprints on children’s minds and they become violent in their real lives. Drinking, smoking and doing other misappropriated behaviors in front of children negatively affect the children and their behaviors.
Similarly, watching movies and TV programs which portray actions, horrors and artificial intelligence also portray negative imprints on children’s thinking and behaviors as they’re more likely to copy and adopt those ‘stunts and characters’ being shown in those films for example, generally in horror movies, too much violence and scary scenes happen with guns, axes, knives etc. ‘ Children are amazed with such horrendous and terrifying scenes and ready to follow and practice them in real life. Parents should restrict their children for watching too much such movies instead oblige them to watch more informative, knowledge-based or sports programs.
Another but a recent trend which is ubiquitous in recent times is the advent of information technology which given birth to internet and social media in particular. Although, internet and social media have transformed the way people used to communicate, correspond and indeed, a great invention of modern science. The spread of knowledge and sharing of ideas, ideologies, communication among the people of the world were never that easier before and cheaper.
However, the social media and internet have also brought several repercussions and drawbacks along. Since, the social media and internet are not governed by any state regulatory authorities so it becomes very vulnerable place especially for these teenagers. The contents which are available in several unsolicited portals and websites are warmly welcomed by teenagers which also contribute in the destruction of ‘character and thinking patterns of children.’ It’s roughly estimated that out of 42,000 adult content websites, 38,000 to 40,000 websites are being watched by young boys and girls around the world. Besides, social media applications provide platforms for immature teenagers which can passively distort children’s behaviors, character and harmful effects on their thinking patterns.
Very importantly, as in today’s time, as people turning out to be less patient and tolerant to other beliefs, culture, social norms, and racism and the consequences of which are known to everyone.
Therefore, it becomes mandatory for the parents, teachers and elders to educate the children to respect others culture, beliefs and social norms not to exaggerate and ignite anger against.
Freedom of speech and expression are always welcomed but freedom of expression also teaches us to be caring and loving to other race’s religion, beliefs, customs and cultural rights.
Criticism are always welcome but if done in a constructive way, criticism becomes a valuable asset then.
Therefore, educating children about human races, culture, religion and social norms yield positive outcome in the best interest of humanity and peace in the world. Here it must be understood that ‘the people who ignite and go beyond the limits of terrorising others have some malicious purposes and follow their own motifs and agendas.They’ve got nothing to do with a particular religion, sect and doctrine of larger portion of that particular section or religion.’
Islam teaches us peace, tolerance, respect to humanity, elders, minorities, social harmony, love and care to underprivileged and marginalized section of society, economic prosperity and equal distribution of wealth.
What exactly missing in our societies of today is a mutual respect of our elders and the will to end the systematic deterioration of community. We need to arouse the awareness and educate the children of mutual respect, understanding and care for elders which will be productive, in assisting the most vulnerable in our society. When we as humans, who are able to lead by example, our whole society will benefit. We will be in a position to reverse the inequities and selfishness of our societies.
The beauty of eastern society especially in South Asians and few neighboring societies is that ‘ in our society, the elders are given high prestige and respect. We the juniors stand up when they arrive or get into particular moment of settings. Parents have to make crucial decisions pertaining and effect our forthcoming life events. During deaths, we have to attend the burial and go to the families for sympathies. People are highly social and mostly marriages are decided by elders which are everlasting in majority of cases.
There are hundreds of thousands of malpractice and anomalies which exist in our societies which leave adverse effects and impacts on children’s minds and alter their thinking patterns. But with decent care, responsibilities, education and effective monitoring, we can make our children more decent, productive and respectful human beings which is the dire need of time now. These children are flowers who spread the fragrance and sweet aromas which beautify the environment of the world in which we live in. Together, we can make this world beautiful, peaceful and better place to live in.
Education plays a constructive and productive role in human development and betterment of humanity, understanding and harmonious environment to the societies of the world. Educating children in social norms, ethics, politeness, honesty and care for others, distinguish human from other creatures.