The Flashbacks of Early Childhood:
By Sajjad Amin Bangash
So I have a flashback. I am actually trying to bring back some bad memories that I can’t remember, it’s like my brain is hiding them from me..they are vanished… I know that my memories may not be as harsh as yours.. but they are quite harsh to me..they haunt me..I don’t know if you understand what I mean..I had a pretty rough childhood, I have some nice memories too, but it’s mostly sad.. I had to grow up sooner than the other children..I couldn’t fit..
Elizabeth’s early childhood of character–scenes which surely have profound significance for all occupied in the training of the young. There is a lot as the outcome of parental reticence. They are not vicious children, but little ones such as we meet every day, imaginative beings living in a world of youthful ideals and speculating about the mysteries which surround them. The connivance of her affectionate but mistaken mother, is a most lovable is a high type of child whose downfall is due to a philosophic temperament, which leads her to inquire into the nature of life and to impart her knowledge to others; a temperament which, under proper guidance, would make her a useful, intelligent woman.
In our past there are a lot of bad memories and for most of our life we often bury them deep inside and never truly dealt with them. Everyone has something bad in their past..whether it be a one time thing or multiple times.
In her word
“My sister’s took over the abuse.
Learned behavior. At this time my mom is never home, due to working several shifts, sleeping in her car two hours at a time. My dad left us nothing! Left my mom in debt. Cars got reopened,credit card debt, we didn’t have any furniture.
I thought to myself, what did I do, since all of us suffered. Child support only covered the house payment. He would say, if you need anything for the girls take it out of the child support which was only $650.00 for three girls.
He wanted us to fail. If we lived with him, he wouldn’t have to pay child support,but I refused! My sister’s would always beat me up telling me I wasn’t pretty,and couldn’t ever be like them. The things they said, and did to me were unthinkable. Years later I had enough! I snapped! I remember the day clearly! First one of sister’s started to give me a beating,and instead of crying not knowing why,I gave it back,and she stopped. I was relieved! Then the other sister had popular friends over,and decided to lock me out of the house. Typical.
I was always embarrassed,and made fun of for years. They got pleasure out of it. They forgot to lock the door that connects the garage to the house. I grabbed a axe, and entered the house. Everyone was in the living room, I swung the axe,but with no attention to hurt anyone. Only to scare everyone away from me to leave me alone and to know that I had enough!! Everyone freaked out ,and left, while calling me names. After that when my sister’s tormented me, I’d chase them into their rooms with a butcher knife,and poke holes in the door trying to give the torment back. Knowing I knew how to pick the lock,but at that time,I didn’t.
After my torturing back, my mom told me that she was taking me shopping.
What a lie! I received my first psychological evaluation at a mental hospital. Nobody ever me if I have been abused. When we got there, I ran. A few of the people who worked there ran after me,and made me go inside. I received a week in a place that I never wanted to stay. All I wanted is for my mom to listen,and love me,and help it stop. I’ve had anger issues every since,and abandonment issues as well. The hospital gave me all meds,and all I wanted to do is sleep. Still no clue of abuse, only labels I received.”
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