Whispers in Silence: ( Chapter 04: The Teenage Girl )

Chapter 04: The Teenage Girl

By Sajjad Amin Bangash

Our conversation resumed after some good pauses as Anne was running in some domestic reasons to solve and I think it took us almost two weeks to restart writing and she began with narrating an interesting event and said.

“Sajjad! I thought of something nice to tell you about my life. At Christmas time this year my cousin bought me a DVD called Empire Records, we used to watch it every weekend as young girls and dance to all the songs, after 20 years she remembered after I didn’t speak to her for 2-3 years. She bought me that DVD for my Xmas present. We had a really strange relationship, she was very kind and sweet but horrible temper.

My school life was good btw sajjad, I started earlier than all the other kids. My grandma and mother always told me “if anyone hits you do whatever you can so you’re not a victim” so when one guy picked on me and hit me on the head with a chalkboard brush, I picked the biggest guy in school and beat him up.

I was always good at Maths, English, French, Russian, Spanish etc. I was great at the tougher subjects as well but I was terrible at the things other kids found easy like basketball, netball, geography. I was thrown off the physical education teams for hitting a girl in the face with a basketball and knocking out one of her teeth, and this was very personal issue for me but I hated that girl, she was a known whore in school while I was very religious.

Back then I didn’t realize may be she just needed a friend. But instead I was mean and because I knew she had sex with about 20 men and she was only 14 years of age. I smacked her in the face with a basketball. This local area next to me has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe. I didn’t know if you knew that we have a guy here at 9 years old as a father.

When I first started primary school at the age of 4, I was so happy to leave home for a while that I ran from my mother and upset her. I was running and laughing to get free from what I felt were chains around my neck.

Anne during her childhood.
Anne during her childhood.

At around 6, I began to be abused. At age 12, it got a lot worse. I had breasts by then. I can’t really name anyone in this but one man was very disgusting towards me from the Jehovah’s witnesses and he pretended to care about me, he had 3 sons and invited me there with my mother since we were good friends and the people from that religion are disgusting.

At around 12 years old I also had developed a passion for swimming, being under the water made me feel somehow supernatural like a mermaid. It may be that’s why my hair is so long. I felt detached from society and from my family who didn’t give a crap that I was being abused so I swam and swam and swam.

School days at primary school were good fun Also I made a lot of school friends, I was reasonably popular there due to my sense of humor. I had quite a few friends at school when I was little I had one friend who had a bathroom problem when she was nervous so I made friends with her also since no one else wanted to be her friend. I took her home to my grandmas house everyday for lunch with me for chicken noodle soup and buttered bread. That was my favourite food when I was young. I learned to cook from a young age also, my best dish when I was 6 years old (when my mother allowed me to cook) was kedgeree. I think this was an Indian dish made for British people a long time ago.

My mother didn’t allow me to have non Jehovah’s Witness friends outside of school hours though. They had to be JW followers and there were not many I liked around my age but I made friends with one girl. Her mother was best friends with my mother for many years but they don’t talk anymore and I never see this girl anymore. She got married very young and went a bit crazy due to her brother abusing her physically. he used to beat her up a few times a day and her mother always found some way to blame this girl for it. He once grabbed her foot and jammed it under my bedroom door and pulled the door back onto it and ripped all her nails backwards. There was blood everywhere. It was really horrific. She left the JW meetings around the same time as me and I moved in with my grandparents at 16 and I could do whatever I wanted. This was not a very good idea for someone who had no freedom at all. I went rather crazy for a few years with so much freedom! I started drinking around 8 years old I think so when I move in with my grandparents I started drinking a lot more. I went to nightclubs and bars a lot. I still passed school with good grades though but instead of going to University right away I decided to work full-time so I could afford to buy my grandparents nice things and travel around. I attended a festival each year called T in the Park. After I started working a made a lot more friends. Eventually another girl I hung out with as a friend from JWs left also and we became best friends.But we were quite bad influence on each other. I started taking drugs a lot back then and she introduced me to a really horrible young man.

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